There is a rom-com trope of the bride-to-be finding out that her fiancé’s female friend is in love with him days before the wedding. Although it’s great movie drama, it’s not so fun if it’s happening to you in real life.
A bride-to-be posted on Reddit asking for advice about how to handle this exact situation. And it definitely wasn’t as neat and tidy as it plays out in the movies. Nothing like some pre-wedding drama.
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The groom to be and his friend have been family friends for most of their lives.
The 23-year-old bride-to-be shared that she and her 28-year-old fiancé had been together for three years. She became friendly with some of his friends, including a childhood female friend named Kami.
“My fiancé and Kami have been friends since they were kids and their families are very close. She’s always been extremely nice towards me and wanted to be ‘best friends’ from the first time we met,” she explained. “I found it a bit odd only because she barely knew me but I didn’t think much of it because she had been dating my fiancé’s best friend Antonio (28m). We didn’t become best friends because I already have a close friend group and I don’t trust easily but she’s always been cool and never crossed any boundaries.”
According to the young woman, things got a little weird with Kami when she and her fiancé got engaged. But it wasn’t a major problem or source of conflict.
The bride overheard Kami and her future sister-in-law at the bachelorette party.
When it was time to have her bachelorette party, she invited her friends and family as well as her future sister-in-law Ava and Kami. The bride claimed she was having an “amazing” time at her bachelorette party. “We all were getting wasted and I’d decided to go to the bathroom and when I got closer, I heard voices and whimpering like someone was crying,” she shared.
“It was then I heard Kami telling Ava, that this should be her and that she doesn’t understand why he would want to be with someone like me, when it was always supposed to be them two together. That she always loved him. I sobered the h— up instantly.”
After that revelation, the bride’s first instinct was to disinvite Kami from the wedding, asking if it would be wrong of her given that the wedding was only a month away.
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Many people told her she needed to get her fiancé involved.
“Tell him exactly what you heard,” one person suggested. “Make sure to emphasize that you didn’t have any problem whatsoever with her or their friendship, but that now that you know that her feelings are not the same as a friend then you need him to have boundaries with her and you don’t feel comfortable with her being at the wedding when all this time she didn’t want to be a supportive friend but instead the bride.”
“Tell your fiancee what you heard and that you don’t feel comfortable with her attending. He should be the one to manage this situation,” someone else commented. “It would be inappropriate for her to attend if this is how she feels. It would taint the day to have her sulking, or worse, protesting. Hopefully, your fiancee immediately sees that and steps up to do the right thing.”
“I think you should tell your fiance (calmly) what happened, and ask his opinion,” someone else chimed in. “This can go two ways: she can come to the wedding and realize the finality of the situation, or you can disinvite her and cause a rift. Or maybe she decides on her own not to come. It’s a tricky situation and I can’t tell you the right thing to do. But uninviting her is not out of the question.”
She shared an update about what happened when she brought up the incident.
In a new Reddit post, the bride-to-be shared an update about what happened after she overheard Kami and Ava’s conversation.
“After Ava was able to calm Kami down she explained to her that this was not the time and place and that Elijah would never forgive her if she ruined my bachelorette party. She also told her that she thinks that she should leave and get herself together,” the bride explained.
“I pulled Ava to the side telling her that I heard everything. She apologized that I heard it and said that she would reach out to Eli to handle it, but I said no. So I asked if they had ever been together or dated?”
She continued, “In response Ava said not that she was aware of, only that their moms would always joke around when they were teens saying that they could finally be ‘related’ once Eli and Kami get married. She said that never happened because Eli was never into her.”
Her fiancé was also very upset by the whole situation.
She explained that she told her fiancé what she had overheard, and he became “irate.” She, of course, asked him if he had any idea about Kami’s feelings for him or if anything had happened between them in the past.
“He made it clear that there has never been anything but a friend’s relationship in his eyes. He said that they had never had sex before but did kiss once back in high school playing bottle games with alcohol but it was in a group and everyone kissed multiple people,” she wrote. He said Kami had never confessed any feelings for him in the past.
Ultimately, the situation wasn’t fully resolved, but the fiancé reached out to his friend to talk to her about what she said. Hopefully they’re able to come to an understanding.
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