Money is often a sticky subject for couples. Who is bringing in more, who’s spending more? It’s all a cause for uncomfortable conversations. But what happens when one partner is making less money than the other due to unemployment? How does that change things? One man on Reddit believes that the rules have to change.
While he is unemployed, he is requesting that his wife contribute more to the home financially — even though he is still able to contribute equally — because she asked him to use his free time to do household chores. He thinks it’s unfair that he does more around the house and due to his lessened income, doesn’t have “fun money” to spend. Commenters are divided.
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The couple has a history of splitting their income.
Posting to Reddit’s popular AITA forum, the 30-year-old man shared that he and his wife make a similar amount of money, and have “contributed the same financially and split the housework evenly.” He’s recently lost his job, but gets about 60% of his income from unemployment.
“I can still pay my share of the household and all bills etc, but that leaves pretty much zero spending money,” the man explained, saying that he doesn’t want to “tap into our savings to have a beer.”
His wife is asking him to use his free time to help the household.
“My wife suggested I could a lot more around the house now that I’m out of a job. And I agreed. I wont be sitting around all day doing nothing, but I’ll still have way more free time than I had or she has,” the man explained. “I did however suggest that she pitched in a larger % to the household finances than her normal 50%. That way I could at least have some spending money the coming months. She disagrees and we had a (somewhat civil) argument about it. We couldn’t see eye to eye.”
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They have different opinions on what feels fair.
The way the man explains, the couple can’t agree on what’s fair. “The way she sees it. I can still pay for my part of the household money. So I should. And I do have the free time, so its normal that I’d spend more time on chores etc. She sees my pov as her paying me for doing housework in our own home, which she finds absurd,” he writes.
“Yes, it makes a lot of sense for me to do more housework in this period. But it also makes a lot of sense for her to chip in more during this period. I think its unfair that she expects me to spend my extra time on housework, but she wont support me extra financially. Financially this isn’t a problem for her,” he adds.
Most people took the wife's side.
An overwhelming number of commenters pointed out the fact that the man and his wife are a married couple, and marriages shouldn’t be transactional.
“Why should she chip in more when you can still cover the household bills?” someone wondered. “You don’t HAVE to go out and spend money when you’re down one income. Tighten the bootstraps and have a few months of cozy nights at home, when you have the extra money the new job will bring, then you can start going out again.”
“You’ll be home all day and you think that you should get more money for that?” another person asked. “It’s your house and since you’ll have time you should be doing more chores without expecting your wife to cover for you. I can’t understand your logic. You are man ffs, how can you leech of your wife like this?”
“You actually think your wife should pay you to clean your shared living space …If it were me, you’d be looking for a new wife too,” a comment reads.
Someone else wrote: “I don’t understand these transactional marriages. If you want a roommate, get a roommate. If you want a maid, get a maid. If you want a life partner then pony the f— up for a few months if they are unemployed so they don’t have to live off noodles. If you want a life partner then clean the damn house so they can rest when they get home from work. Sheesh.”
Some people do see his side of the argument.
“When one partner is unemployed, it is natural for the other partner to temporarily take on a larger portion of the expenses,” one commenter noted. “And it is also true that the unemployed partner with more free time takes on a larger share of the household chores. She is trying to take advantage of you.”
Another person commented: “Either you’re a 50/50 household or you’re not. Right now, you have time but not much money. Pitching in more time, while she helps financially makes sense. If she isn’t willing to put more money in the pot, she can’t expect you to spend extra time doing chores. Yes, you can still afford your bills. She can still find time for her chores. She wants everything her own way here. That’s not how it works.”
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